I’ve not posted in a while!

Those of you who read my writings here would probably be wondering what I have been up to. Well the response to that would be this in simple: I’ve been doing a podcast called “Nerd Is The New Sexy” and have been mostly putting my effort into that as of late.


If you guys want to listen or see the kinds of things we have been doing you can see it here! I’ll try to write more as well.


Nerd Is the New sexy Facebook page


The secret rules of Star Trek.

So I’ve been catching up on my star trek tv shows. Started with of course the original and am currently watching Star Trek Voyager. So from what I’ve seen thus far I will be giving you guys some rules of the show I have noticed. Maybe you will find this amusing like I did.

Rule #1: Riker will put his foot on anything that will make him look cool.

Rule #2: The ships systems will go down for no reason for plot device because well…Its Star Trek.


Rule #4: Zombies in space make the show more interesting (Borg)

Rule #5: The Doctor ALWAYS has to have an attitude of some sort.

Rule #6: Most Every Vulcan must sound like Spock.

Rule #7: Counselor Troy must have a camel toe showing half the series.

Rule #8: We love to love and hate Q.

Rule #9: Captain Janeway’s mind can change at any time.

Rule #10: Transporters? Death traps that clone you.

Rule #11: One hit takes shields down to at least 85% half the time they are attacked.

Rule #12: Every 4 or 5 episodes in they have to have story development for impotent characters on the ship.

Rule #13: Neelix’s cooking scares me… Truly scares me.

Rule #14: Star Trek Enterprise is really about Captain Archers Dog. He is the true star of the show.

Rule #15: Its ok to put “Space Indians” in Star Trek, make one start out as a bad guy who’s fighting the “Man” (Federation) then make him commander Chakotay.

Rule #16: Holograms can kill you! Again, cuz STAR TREK!

Rule #17: BORG can be your friend… Or your Pet.. Or however you wanna look at it.

Rule #18: There is not one point that any Star Trek fan didn’t face palm because of Reg Barkley!

Rule #19: Bones is a Vulcan racist.

Rule #20: Klingon ships kinda look like snakes with wings.

Thanks for reading. This is what i got so far LOL Still watching so maybe i’ll update this and add photos in the future.


Whats on my mind? Captain R: The Game Ranger!

The Beginning:

I bet your asking yourself: “What is this game ranger doodad this guy’s talking about?”. Well let me just answer that question right now. It all started out as a conversation between myself and my fellow gaming nerd, Sunrie in 2004 (Give or take).

Remember Captain N: The Game Master?

What if Captain N: The Game Master was a balding, cursing, redneck of a man was the hero instead of the original intended story.

At that time another friend of mine Mike (or Lt. Maximus as known online) was working on a small series called “The Adventures of Ron” which really was just made for a small group of people to view and laugh at. Where Maximus played the voice of Ron.

A little back story on the Ron Character:

Now to do this I need to take you guys back to a time when myself and the internet were young, where there were no social media sites other then maybe chat lines. Ah, Chat lines, where some people would come to try to get their “Cyber sex” on. Others would come to socialize because they were too afraid of people or wanted to just find the joy of something new that was the internet at the time.

Well Myself and Sunrie would go to this website at the time known as the “Chatalyst” and chat with several people. I would go as “Wildfire knight” (My love for the anime: Ronin warriors of course) though I created a entirely new back story to the character but like Conan The Barbarian that’s another story.

Anyway, we would go there and do what was called Free form role playing (or something along those lines at the time it was so new to us we didn’t even really know what to call it). As with the internet there’s always ONE person who has to try to ruin the fun by being an absolute troll. This person was RON. There’s much more I can go into but I’ll leave it at this for now.

Continuing with the story:

After seeing the “Adventures of Ron” Sunrie and I brainstormed that why not make “Ron” our Captain N? Wouldn’t it be perfect to have a Lazy redneck anti-hero in the heroes place? PERFECT! At the time Sunrie was just getting started in learning flash. None of us could draw worth a shit so the next best thing we could think of was sprite animation. Don’t know what sprite animation is? LOOK IT UP!! Can’t explain everything to you people!

So thus we started brainstorming a story for the first episode of “The Adventures of Ron: Captain R: The Game Ranger” Which would eventually just be called Captain R: The game Ranger, or just Game Ranger. We then posted it on Newgrounds.com. Lt. Maximius has always been the voice of Ron. Myself and Sunrie voice many characters through the series.

Here is a synopsis and background information to the episodes in the series

The First Game Ranger

As Sunrie and I have always been pretty good at improvisation there was no written script to the first Game Ranger. However we did have an idea of where we wanted the story to go.

The Villains:

Brolly (Dragon Ball Z), Zero (Megaman X), Richter Belmont (Castlevania series) and so forth. If your asking yourself “Why are some of the good guys from these games villains”? WATCH THE FUCKING SERIES AND FIND OUT WHY! That’s why!

They are waging war on the heart of all game worlds ruled by the family of Princess Willow. Upon finding out of the upcoming invasion Princess willow has her court magicians do the only thing that can stop such a invasion. Summon the Game Ranger of legend.

Zero cuts short the summoning ritual by killing the court wizards and after battling Princess Willow takes her hostage in the name of Brolly. The summoning ritual having been cut short interrupted Ron from his video gaming session and sucked him into his television.

After that Ron finds himself in the game world where he is approached by a Mysterious fairy with a very high pitched horrible voice that explains to him why he is there.

Much happens after that! You can watch the movies on Newgrounds.com

Or Just go to these links:
(Warning: adult content and language)

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/281905 – Captain R: The Game Ranger (note: remember this is our FIRST flash movie)

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/421872 – Captain R: The game Ranger Remastered

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/378788 – Game Ranger 2 part 1

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/378789 – Game Ranger 2 Part 2

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/502549 – Game ranger 3.

Coming soon: Game Ranger 4 (We hope)

My GTA online Character Diary #5

Pisswasser is great!

The header

note: This time I’m letting the photos tell the story some!

So I figured today I am going to go out and get SUPER drunk then find my buddy Sunrie and have a night out on the town! I Drive over to the local liquor store and get a bunch of booze and alcohol and pretty much start downing it RIGHT OUTSIDE the store.


Damn I’m drunk!

After two or three drinks I thought, Hey lets go for a drive! I end up going to the air port where I find an abandoned helicopter. Of course my great wisdom in my drunken state of mind (cuz i drive much better when drunk) thought I’m GONNA TAKE IT and play a prank on SUNRIE! Yes, damn I’m smart! So I get into the helicopter, Damn the cops want me all of a sudden for stealing this chopper. ITS NOT LIKE ANYONE ELSE WAS USING IT… God This makes me just wanna put a bullet in their heads… WHO EVER they are.. -hic-. Anyway, I finally got away from them. I FINALLY get to Sunrie’s house and call him.

ME: Hey buddy.. What you doing?

Sunrie: Just hanging at home, why?

Me: you by the window?

Sunrie: Yah, why?

Me: Turn around!



After a good laugh about it I ended up blowing up the chopper in the city. Which you guessed it PISSED OFF THE COPS! GEEZ THEY NEED TO FUCKING LAY OFF US MAN! We just tryin’ to have fun!

So being out in the middle of town and no where near any of our vehicles at the time I get the wonderful idea to STEAL A POLICE CAR! We of course loose them after a wonderful high speed chase through the city where we hit maybe 50 pedestrians trying to get away. Less people would get hurt if they just let us go… Fuckers.

So After stealing the police car i tell Sunrie “Check this out I’m gonna take it off some sweet jumps” and THIS HAPPENED!

Sweet jumps


I call that my “PIGS IN SPACE” jump! Pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Anyway, Like i said we do get pretty crazy during drinking. Long story short I blew up the police car from too many jumps. Well it stopped running after I crashed it too much and i got a little frustrated with it and put a sticky bomb to it. It was fun to watch explode!

Sunrie and I ended up at the beach late at night and we got into a heated debate on who was the coolest super hero. I told him I thought that “Ghost rider” was pretty freaking awesome. I added that I can do a great cos play of Ghost rider! Without explaining a thing i then hopped on a nearby Motorcycle and showed Sunrie the BEST DAMN COS PLAY OF GHOST RIDER EVER!!

See? I told you so!


I then wake up in a plane with Sunrie telling me “Dude I’m flying you to the burn ward” to which i respond “Dude, look I’m alright!” Because i was.. NO HARM done… Well it must of surprised him because usually he’s a damn good flyer. He hit a bridge which damaged the plane enough to where we had to do an emergency landing ON THE BRIDGE! Then get out and run for our lives!

As we got just far enough to be safe the plane exploded. WHY ALL THE PEOPLE DRIVING AROUND US STAYED THERE IS BEYOND ME! They needed a bullet in their head anyway!

Dumb ass people!

Anyway, I got home and began writing this. With all that happened here I’m beginning to think Sunrie and I are the chosen ones. I’ve seen many people who need to be cleansed. This city needs Heroes like us. I think Tomorrow I will call Sunrie and tell him of our new calling!

whores are for dicks!

Occupation conversation.

Alright, so a lot of my posts lately have been playful and fun but i think its time i write something more serious for the moment. Something that I have been contemplating on writing for a long time now and didn’t because I thought it wasn’t worth it.. Till tonight but i will get to that later. Keep in mind I’m venting some here and realize that I am fully aware there are worse jobs out there. However I’ve yet to work one that’s as thankless as something like this. Call it bad experiences, call it bad luck. This is my viewpoint (hence the name of the blog). Also keep in mind This is my viewpoint from California I’m sure there are different states that may have it better. If anyone reading this has any stories to share feel free to do so in the comments.

Lets start off with the occupation I’m speaking of: Security guard.One of the most thankless jobs out there and I’m serious. Thankless from ALL directions.

Here I will list several different things that make being a security guard difficult in this day and age.
Now, don’t get me wrong. If you want to go into this occupation do so. Just expect some of the following to happen. I’ve not been in this super long. Only 5 + years now but i can tell you what to expect from being employed by multiple security companies.

Lets start with most security companies themselves. You get hired and your excited but all you are to them is a drone. Some of these companies have the great idea to put you in a field or worse A BAR with nothing but a flash light and radio. I’m not lying about this. Triple A security in California is EXTREMELY bad about doing this among with others.

Now on top of that to keep things costly even though the company themselves are making a profit from the client that they feel they can pay you minimum wage or close to it. On top of that they WILL put you some place that can be extremely dangerous and tell you that your only to carry a flashlight (and some places don’t even give you that). A lot of the companies will give you ONE SHIRT then tell you to buy your own pants and you’ll be lucky to get a jacket or long sleeve shirt for the winter and you will be working five days a week but they will REFUSE to put you on paper as a “full time” employee. I’m sure your asking yourself why right? SO they can save money and still make cash off you.

Lets face it while your making minimum wage your employer who is making more then enough to actually give you a raise of some sort denies to do just that. Even while its you on the front lines most of the time. I’ve seen employee’s get punched for no reason just because someone was pissed off. Hell, I GOT HIT BY A TRUCK and my company at the time advised my supervisor that I should NOT press charges. Is that their choice to make?

Now lets say you worked for a place so long that you knew more about the clients work place then the client them self knows. That you have saved past employee’s from fires, fights, harassment, lawsuits, and any other hairy situation that I cannot think of at the moment. Even if you save a LIFE. You are still a drone to this security company and the moment they see you as either a threat, thinking outside the box, or anything they disagree with. They will replace you with the quickness despite you’re long list of achievements in their behalf.

Now lets move on to the client. I am sure your probably thinking to yourself “the client can’t be thankless right?” oh, the client in some cases are worse then the actual company that hired you. Think of it this way, your in between a person with a shotgun (The client) and a person with a crossbow (The company you work for) in some of these situations. Your gonna be fucked one way or another.

Now don’t get me wrong the clients are not all bad either. however in some cases they are more horrible then anything else. You have to follow their policies on top of the policies set for you from the company itself that you work for. So again its like having two bosses. The company wants to keep the client happy (which is understandable). However YOU’RE happiness doesn’t matter. You are a replaceable drone remember? So the client can make you do what ever they want even if its outside the boundaries of your skill. I’ve had to personally do electrical work at a old job i worked for because they didn’t want “Maintenance” doing it. Can you believe that? Well do or don’t.. It happened. The client doesn’t want something heavy like a couch or a huge desk in their office? Guess who gets to do the heavy lifting ALL BY THEM SELF in most cases. That’s right, you guessed it. THE SECURITY officer! I’ve had this happen also. I’m moving about 400 pounds worth of stuff from area to another in a dolly while the client who asked me to do this simply sat and watched me sweat it out. I can go on and on but what I have said here so far I think what I have said here explains enough on the client.

Hecklers… The people that see you as a security guard and think they wanna fuck with you because they have seen Paul Blart Mall Cop a whole lot of times and think its funny to do so or just want to impress their friends because well they just have no other real talent but talking shit. May god or Allah or who ever you fucking worship bless those people because they are not blessed in the head LOL.

Let me put it this way:

People who hate authority see us as this:
A Threat

The media makes security look like this:
Mall cop

When really all security guards are doing is trying to do their job just like you and everyone else out there with a job. The biggest thing that people need to remember is that its not always a guards fault if something bad happens to you. Remember they are most likely THE FIRST on scene, the one who calls the police for you, and the one willing to stand in the freezing cold and rain with you till the cops get there to assist you with a theft report (The good ones at least…All things I’ve done in the past.) So think twice before you blame a “rent a pig” for something getting stolen. Most places this day and age are understaffed. Respect someone who is respecting you. Even as a security guard that is the way i do things.

Its truly easy to see why people don’t respect security. I’ve been called every thing from “rent a pig” to “snitch”. Which by the way you are only a snitch until something happens and you have to report it. Its funny how that works right? Also, am I the only one that finds it extremely funny that most people that calls someone a “snitch” has probably committed some sort of crime themselves and doesn’t want to be “snitched” on?

Also, please for the LOVE OF GOD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SECURITY AND THE POLICE. You would be utterly surprised at how many people think that Observe and Report goes with Protect and Serve.
You would not be shocked to find out how many people are ignorant to the difference between the two. When I used to train security guards one of the things I stressed a WHOLE lot was “Do not act upon the word ‘think'”. Meaning if someone says “I think they stole something” do not detain the person, do not talk to that person, and do not hinder that persons rights as a citizen in any way. Why? Because as I was trained back in the day “I don’t have 10,000 dollars to be sued for. Do you?”. To put it bluntly SECURITY HAS THE SAME POWERS OF ARREST AS ANY OTHER CITIZEN. Unless we witness a crime we cannot act upon it. Just like a citizen has the power for a citizens arrest. Just because we get to wear a badge doesn’t mean that we are police. Do you know what it takes to get a guard card in California? Answer: 180 dollars give or take providing you do not have a felony on your background. We receive NO SPECIAL training (unless you pay more money for it) other then “CALL FOR HELP IF THINGS GET BAD”. The badge we wear may as well be crayoned on that’s how much its worth.

Speaking of Security being mistaken for Police this subject brings me to what brought me into wanting to write this. I was at my post working and one of the employee’s of the client walked by looked at me as a man with a open can of beer walked by (Keep in mind the clients right next to a bar)and said “you are just gonna let him walk around with a can of beer?” to which i responded “Ma’am, I am a security guard not a police officer, my priority is you and the other employee’s here getting home safely, the moment this person pesters, harasses, or molests you then He will be my priority also” her response to me was “isn’t that a part of your job too?” I chuckled and told her to have a good evening.

Well, I have said my say in what i wanted to here. However I’m not going to leave saying that ALL security is good. I’ve worked with a few people in my time that have actually lived up to the security stereotype. However next time you think on giving a security guard a hard time. Try and remember all the other shit they deal with on a day to day basis. I could probably give you 100 more stories proving my point or just some funny situations in general but I’ll end it here. Thanks for reading and expect more goofy stuff in the future.

Many thanks and much love for reading if you did. I’ll have more character diaries out soon.